Christmas Eve – Immersed in the moment – Oneness – The end of separation

Dear fellow human beings,
Today, I am only able to find my words in writing, as I am starting afresh in many ways at this point in my life and do not know where IT will lead me... 

I only know many things when I experience that one moment—in quiet contemplation, in feeling into my body, soul, and spirit, in becoming aware of my inner energy. Then I sometimes feel a truth that I am and that I am not personally at all. 

And that is exactly what I experienced almost exactly a year ago—just before Christmas. I ask that you treat this text with care, as it is very personal—thank you very much.

During Advent last year, prompted by current events, I explored two Zen sayings that address pressing questions about life that I and many of my clients have been grappling with:

The first saying:

“When your arrows are shot, your bow is broken, shoot with your whole being.”

The second:

Listen to the clapping of a hand (meaning "clapping your hands") 

How can both be done—acting without tools? And hearing what cannot be heard at all?

WAITING AT THE AIRPORT – THE EXPERIENCE

I waited with countless people in the arrivals hall—general unrest, waiting with or without masks, crowded and warm, even stuffy. Great excitement. The "airport" had a cold atmosphere in the semi-darkness of the night. It was after 11 p.m., and numerous planes were still in the holding pattern—John's flight, my dear friend's flight, was delayed.

Then it happened.
By chance, I observed a young couple with a newborn child. The man held the child securely in his arms—literally in tender care.

The little creature—with a beautifully shaped, delicate face and a head of black hair, sleeping, its lips still seeming to breathe in the scent of its mother's milk—blissfully silent, wrapped in the security of a soft wool blanket.

The woman carried a poster with the words "BEM VINDA" – Welcome! – in Portuguese, framed by a heart. She held a bouquet of red and orange flowers pressed to her chest – her breath rapid, her face hot, cheeks red, balancing on tiptoes – jet-black braid, beautiful.

And there she was—the woman's mother—a new grandmother, searching with her eyes, recognizing me—her smile broad and open behind her mask—as if I could see her white teeth and red lips.

The two, mother and daughter, rushed toward each other in a completely devoted movement, tears streaming down their faces—they embraced and hugged each other with such intensity, warmth, and tenderness that tears ran down my cheeks too.

Finally! After months of separation, longing, missing encounters, words, and hugs... Finally!

And there I saw, felt, heard THE ONEANSWER to both koans:

It was clearly two people embracing each other—heart to heart. And they were ONE body, ONE breath, ONE soul, ONE pulse— ONE SOUND. Clapping with one hand.

Suddenly, I saw a glow in them and around them and all the people who were lovingly embracing each other in the hall—it was a starry sky, brighter than anything I had ever seen, golden and yet white—I was completely overcome with childlike wonder.

And then I just knew:
ONE – UNITY – ONENESS with ourselves, with nature, better than nature, with people, better than incarnate humans – LOVE will simply guide us, move us, save us. WE WILL SIMPLY BECOME THE TOOL.

Can the solution for us humans be so simple? Love—just like that? Devotion—just like that? Tenderness and care—just like that?

Is this a beautiful fairy tale—a utopia, naive and foolish? Or is this NOW and has always been our inner truth? Are we, were we IT, EVERYTHING and NOTHING, haven't we always been? Is that the reason why—despite all the "opposition"—we somehow celebrate CHRISTMAS again and again?

Could we see sunny cornfields in our cereal at breakfast, fruit-laden apple trees in our apples, red, yellow, and gold in the green? Could we see dense jungles, untamed animals, blue birds, and indigenous peoples in our coffee? Bees in our honey? Could we learn to breathe gratitude in the scent of bread—could we learn to truly see and love? And then think, live, and act accordingly?

WE DECIDE. I practice becoming my insight, taking responsibility, in tender awareness of my own consciousness and of the life "around me."